Okay I have a bunch of stuff on my mind and most of it involves guys. Not really anyone in particular, but just guys in general. And moving. I'm not gonna be leaving until next uhm, July, but I'm still thinking about it. I want a boyfriend, but I don't want a guy who's gonna wanna sleep with me a few weeks in, or even a few months in. I feel kinda bad cuz of the reason I want a boyfriend. I kinda want one so that I'll have something to do and someone to hang out with. I don't want to have sex though. I kinda feel like I'm saving myself for someone, but I'm not. At least I don't think I am. I also am trying not to fall for someone. Thomas, to be exact. Everytime I talk to him, I think about what it could be like to be with him. I know that we talk about fooling around, but I want more than that from him. I want to be with him. But I know that I can't; at least not right now. And I'm trying to keep my mind off of him except when I'm talking to him. I don't really know what to do. I guess right now as far as Thomas goes, due to the distance between us, there isn't anything I can do except keep talking to him like I already am. As of right now and me wanting a boyfriend, I don't know what I'm gonna do about that. I still kinda wonder about this guy David, up at Blockbuster. I only see him maybe once every couple of weeks. When I happen to go there in the morning, that's when I see him. I know when he's there cuz I know which car is his. I'm not 100% sure cuz I never asked if it was his, but I've seen him go out to it during the day. He knows who I am, he knows me when he sees me at least. But I don't know how I would start a conversation with him. I wouldn't know where to start. Like how would I find out if he was single, or even straight (I have a small suspision that he's gay, but not as strong as when I knew that Blockbuster Thomas was gay) And I mean how would I find out if we could hang out. Ya know what maybe I'll just request to be his friend on myspace first. And then see if it happens to go anywhere from there. That would also mean going up there when he's up there. But I guess if anything is going to happen, then it'll happen when its supposed to. So for now I'm gonna get some sleep.

I can't really say there's anything wrong with that. I wanted a boyfriend because I wanted someone to be close to, to hang out with, and to give insane amounts of affection to. It's quite nice. Mind you, I've only had one boyfriend, and we started doing the bf/gf thing when I was 20...


I wouldn't go after someone that's far away, but someone that can be around a decent amount. Someone you admire for some quality they have (Dave's a genius, he rocks). Someone you've known long enough to know things about, and to see exactly what kind of person they are. It's a good idea to see how they treat others, so you can figure out how they might treat you. Granted, I've known Dave for about three years, but I'm also the wussy sort of "meh, he won't like me" person. Perhaps it helps.
» ikimashokie on 2006-09-03 12:16:29

I read somewhere that guys are supposed to think about girls more than girls think about guys... and you know what... I think it was a lie. :P
» randomjunk on 2006-09-08 11:10:10

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