This is the third time I'm attepting this ... lemme see if I can pick the right words to actually get through the whole thing.

So ... the Stuart situation. I haven't been talking to him that much lately; maybe every few days or so. The urge to text him or contact him is a little easier to resist than it was before. And although I miss him still, I'm not as upset about the whole situation.

I talked to him this past Monday. He was back in the ER cuz he's been neglecting his ankle to the point where he could no longer walk on it. I've written a few times about how he had screwed up his ankle about 2 months ago, but never got it properly looked at it. He's paying for the neglegance now.

It turns out he's got a torn ligament and a stress fracture due to the pressure put on the injury from walking on it, running, swimming, playing hockey and whatever else he's done that requires the use of his ankle. He's going to be in a boot brace thing for the next 2 months, at the least.

He's also been dealing with some crap at home and he ended up getting kicked out. He didn't tell me why he was kicked out and I didn't ask. So now he's staying with his friend for the time being until he can get into a more decent place.

He's also had to quit his new job because you can't work in construction with an injury like his. I'm not sure if you can really work in consturction with any injuries at all. So now he has to find something that he can do that won't be jeapordized due to an injury so that he can keep paying off bills and fines and such.

I still miss talking to him, but like I said, its a little easier to deal with. My heart still skips a beat whenever I see him online or when he IMs or texts me. I guess that's a reaction I'm going to have to deal with for quite a while. At least, until I can get completely over him to the point where I only see him as just another friend to talk to.

The only bad thing about him fucking up his ankle like this {besides all the bad shit he has to deal with} that affects me in any way, is that if I can get back to Tucson in October, he'll still be there. I was really hoping that he would be in the service by then so I wouldn't have to deal with thing that I know I'll have to deal with if he's still there. With the knowledge that he's still in Tucson, I'll want to see him. But I know that I don't want to have to say goodbye again. There-in lies the conflict. Do I acknowledge that he's still there and take the risk of seeing him and dealing with the consequences afterwards? Or do I acknowledge that he's still there and not see him, wondering the whole time, what could have happened if I had?

I'm using the word "if" because I don't even know, at this point in time, if I'll even be able to get back to Tucson. I still don't have a job. I'm not sure if I'll have the money or be able to take the time off by the time October comes around. I really hope I will be able to, but its really iffy right now.

Anywho, I think I managed to get this entry written out better than I had intended on doing so. I guess third time's the charm.

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