I want a boyfriend, but just like last time I want one for all of the wrong reasons.

I'm bored. I want something to do and I want to get out and meet some people. I mean, of course I want a boyfriend, well ... because I haven't really had a "true" boyfriend in a few years. But that's not the main reason I want one right now.

I want someone who will take me out and be okay with simply hanging out. I'd feel bad though, because I'm not working so I wouldn't be able to pay for anything. I don't want another Justin. He was too much of an annoyance.

I don't want a Stuart either, because that was based simply on fooling around. We only went somewhere other than my apartment twice. And the second time was to somewhere simply so that we could fool around.

I'm not sure yet, if I do get together with someone out here, if I want the relationship to be "serious." I'm definate on moving back to Florida next summer and if I were with someone, I'd either be breaking up with them before I leave or I'd have to be serious enough with them for them to want to move with me.

Which is a really big step especially if you've known them for less than a year. Anyone I meet from here on, I would know them for less than a year before I move away. Four of my past relationships have ended because I've moved. I know the consequences that I'd be suffering if it happened again.

That's where my dilema comes into play. I want a boyfriend, but right now, its for the wrong reasons. When I do get a job and start living more of my independent life again, I know that I'd want one then too. But at that point I'll be afraid to get too close just in case he isn't "the one" or I'll get too close and be afraid that he won't be "the one" and won't want to move with me, in which case it would end with me moving away again. I'd end up getting my heart half broken anyway.

{I'm going with half broken because if its not true love, then I don't feel as if I'm giving my whole heart}

Ugh. I know that I have to wait and that when the time is right, it'll happen. But being the impatient person that I am, I hate waiting.

sad to tell u that real love/ "the one" doesn't appear when you r in desperation. desperation will only fog ur mind so u won't make the right decision.

a friend once told me before that if we seek love out of desperation we would be devoured by love. love between 2 people is complementing each other's happiness. this is crucial because if we rely someone for our happiness then there's no happiness in the relationship itself. imagine the main security of a relationship is money ... one day boyfriend/husband whos spends lavishly on me suddenly go bankrupt and i got no expenses to go to for a manicure every weekend. what will happen? it would be a bitted outcome if i agreed to be with him because he was able to accomodate my needs...

so be patient la~
» renaye on 2007-08-30 03:43:29

No one person can tell you what to do in this situation. You have to do whats going to be best for you and only you know that. And deep down everyone knows whats best for them it's just a matter of being smart/strong/couragoues enough to actually do it :)
» lyndeep on 2007-08-30 10:19:45

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