I've gotten over Mario enough that it doesn't bother me to see him flirting around with someone else. It doesn't bother me if I don't see him either.

What is bothering me right now is his cologne. It's nowhere close to how much David's cologne affected me, but it's still driving me crazy. I need to get some sort of action and soon. Otherwise I'll end up going out of my mind.

I'd be okay fooling around with either Mario or Tristen. Ed I've gotten to know too well and it would just be weird. I could see Ed as being a best friend and not so much a boyfriend or boytoy.

But I already know that even if Mario is thinking about it, he won't act on it. I'm not supposed to know that he told my sister the reason he isn't going to do anything with me is because he feels he'll be disrespecting ma. It's a reason, but it's not something I wanted to hear.

Tristen wouldn't simply because I haven't given any indication to him that I've wanted anything from him. And he's going to be quitting so I won't see him anymore anyway. So much for that idea.

I really wish Stuart were here. Or I could get to Stuart somehow. But since that isn't going to be happening either, I'll just have to wait it out more. I knew it would be a challenge, but I thought it would be easier than it is.

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